


Microwave-Unsafe

by crackdkettle



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, cooking is a science but Thor is not a scientist, crack kind of, microwaves are not Mjolnir-safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:59:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5009158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackdkettle/pseuds/crackdkettle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor decides to use the microwave. Darcy decides to mess with Thor. Jane really needs to stop leaving them alone together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Microwave-Unsafe

**Author's Note:**

> based on [this tumblr post](http://crackdkettle.tumblr.com/post/131232690760/toxixpumpkin-in-your-ot3-who-doesnt)

“Oh my god!” cries Jane as soon as she walks in the kitchen.

Thor and Darcy freeze, looking guiltily from Jane to the charred, smashed remains of what was recently a perfectly functioning microwave.

“I was gone for fifteen minutes!” says Jane. “What the hell did you guys do?”

“It was for science…?” Darcy tries. “Hey, can you get this burn on my shoulder?” She offers Jane a tube of burn cream, which Jane takes with a sigh.

“Science?” she says skeptically, rubbing some cream into Darcy’s shoulder. “What was the experiment?”

“I was attempting to use this device” – Thor gestures at the ruined microwave – “to heat a meal, as I have seen you and Darcy do many times.”

“So you were using it for its intended purpose,” says Jane. “And then you smashed it because…?”

“I wanted another?” says Thor with a hopeful smile.

Darcy laughs. Jane, however, is not amused.

“ _Really_?”

“No,” says Thor quickly. “I was attempting to contain the fire.”

“What fire?” says Jane.

“Ummm,” says Darcy sheepishly. “I may not have told him foil can’t go in the microwave...”

“You _what_?” says Jane.

“It was for _science_ , Jane!” says Darcy. “I didn’t think it would catch fire! I definitely didn’t think he’d try to put it out with myeh-myeh! Who does that?” She looks accusingly at Thor.

“You are both beyond ridiculous,” says Jane, shaking her head. “You’re lucky you just got a few first-degree burns.”

“Says the woman who drives into tornadoes,” Darcy mutters.

“Okay, that actually _was_ for science!” says Jane. “So I guess we’ll be doing take-out for dinner now.”

“Nonsense!” says Thor. “I shall prepare you a feast as an apology! Fear not, my darling Jane, we shall not starve this night!”

“Sounds great,” says Jane, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him.

“And I’ll go order us a new microwave,” says Darcy. “You have Prime, right?”

\----

A few hours later, Darcy is drawn back to the kitchen by a potent burning scent rivaling the one caused by the microwave explosion.

“Are you cooking with myeh-myeh now?” she asks.

Thor drops a baking sheet on the floor, sending what looks like several charcoal pieces rolling in different directions. Darcy doesn’t need to speak Asgardian to know that whatever he’s snarling would definitely be bleeped out on network television.

“You have no idea how to cook, do you?” she says.

“I have roasted boars fit for the All-Father himself on dozens of hunts!” says Thor defensively. “Your foolish Midgardian tools are at fault. Had I but an open flame–!”

“And a boar?” says Darcy. She sniffs carefully at a smoking pot on the stove. “Dude, I think you burned _water_. I didn’t even know that was possible.”

Thor glowers.

“Here,” says Darcy, taking pity on him. “You clean up whatever is all over the floor. I’ve got this.”

\----

“So…” Darcy says twenty minutes later, as she, Thor, and Jane huddle across the street with the rest of their building’s tenants, waiting for the fire department to declare it safe to return inside. “Indian or Chinese?”


End file.
